The pathology report from the surgical removal of the tumor indicates a Stage 2 tumor of poor margins. The cancer has metastasized beyond the original tumor site. My lymph system is giving a ride to cancer cells for residence and future tumor formation in other parts of my body. No one can say for certain where, only that cancer cells are on the move.
One of the first questions a newly-diagnosed cancer patient ask doctors, or the first information offered about a cancer diagnosis are the odds of survival. Percentages and odds are presented in the form of statistics.
In my point of view on the matter, statistics are generalized probabilities meaning absolutely nothing to the individual outcomes for the individual diagnosed with cancer. Living and dying are very personal, individualistic and subjective issues. The person who can answer that question best is the person diagnosed with cancer. The answer given is more significant than any generalized statistic.
What do I think my odds of survival are and how do I honestly feel about my survival? There are people who are told they have three months to live and are alive 15 years later. There are people who are told they have a 95 percent chance of alive 5 years later and do not live 5 more years.
After all the tests, the cancer team proposed a course of treatment involving surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. If I follow the recommended course of treatment I am told I have a certain percentage of being alive in 5 years. 10 years. 20 years.
No one is calculating my will to live, my frame of mind and my emotional attitude or how I define all the minutes, hours, days, months and years of my life up to this very moment in time. No one is including my capacity for learning or my commitment to healing. This information is vital in the equation of statistical outcomes. It is missing in the statistical data presented.
If the protocols for treatment are about the same for the same type of cancer, what is it that keeps someone who is not expected to live three more months still alive 15 years later? When the person given the glowing prediction they will live another five years, probably 10 years, maybe 20 years, dies so much sooner than the statistics suggests?
I know this about myself: I never give up and I never give in but I do not know if this is sufficient to keep me alive. I want to know what the person who defied the odds knows. What they did to make statistics of interest and relevance to no one other than statisticians.
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio. Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – Shakespeare.
I want to understand the more things of heaven and earth than I had dreamt of up to now.
“This above all. To thine own self be true.” – Shakespeare
Before the diagnosis of cancer, I did not know the date of my death. I still do not know. I do not accept that anyone else knows with statistical certainty.
